Went to the dietician… I sit down and she shows me a plate.
“Do you eat like this?”
I look down and in shock I nod. I really do.
“Are your plates big?”
Bit of a personal question but I assure her that they are the same size as you would expect.
She then moves on to what you are meant to eat. And then to what I do eat. By the time I’m finished talking she is shaking her head.
“I know my portion sizes can be larger than…”
She interrupts me. “You aren’t eating enough.”
Of all the things I was expecting that was not one of them.
“Huh?” Is my eloquent answer.
“You are short 3 portions of fruit and veg AND at least one in dairy.”
“Huh?” I think I have got the needle stuck.
“You need to change that and eat more!”
“Huh?” Yep, definitely looking gormless now.
She just stares.
“I’m not eating enough?” I pose.
“Exactly!” she cries. “You must come back in two months to make sure you are.”
“Huh?” I think my learning disability is showing.
“We’ll write and let you know!” Yep, it’s showing. She is now talking slow and loud.
I am ushered out the door clutching the papers I need to reform my lifestyle. As I leave I turn to her.
“I need to eat more?”
She nods happily.
I cross the waiting room amid dubious looks from those waiting. Hell, I’m dubious as well. I’m really over-weight and a size twenty and her advice is to eat more.
So I am now feeling a little queasy after adding fruit and veg to my lunch. I’m so full. Can this be right?
I’m giving it two weeks…