There is one thing… I have always wanted to be in an orchestra and to play an instrument. I was recently out and someone had turned to me – do you read music?
This was a little left field but apart from being startled for a moment I smiled and said – yes.
Really – she said. She was one of those perfect types that instantly got my back up. Treble or bass?
Both – and I wasn’t lying. I can read music.
What instruments do you play? – she said twiddling her wine glass, and looking bored.
Trombone, French horn and the flute – again not a lie.
She blinked and then a friend called me away. Thank goodness. You see I can play but only incredibly slowly. And I mean s-l-o-w-l-y. I don’t know whether it’s the dyslexia or some problem with hand to eye but I cannot speed up. I have one speed playing and that is at a snail’s pace. Great for slow songs like ‘Edelweiss’ terrible for anything else and useless for an orchestra.
It doesn’t matter how much I practice. I never get past a crawl.