Art as Pain Relief: My Experience with Arthritis

I live with pain. Over COVID Roland and I realised that I wasn’t moving well, that one hip was causing discomfort. At the time I thought it was a lot of pain. Looking back, it was maybe a 2 compared to what I experience now. At the time though over the counter stuff was not cutting it. The GP sent me for x-rays and then I waited.

Those x-rays were sent over to the rhuematologist. This lady, who I never met, it was COVID, said that I had arthritis. It was a little shocking. I was forty-five.

“Is it my weight?” I asked.

I have been fighting my weight for years and I am obese. Have been since I was fourteen.

She then said – no, well, not completely. She then went on to refer to bone spacing and such. She told me my body seems to have a want to make spurs with the slightest of touches. The spur affecting my hip was actually stopping the joint from moving.

“Why?” I asked.

She answered that it was a genetic issue. Both my parents have rheumatoid and osteoarthritis. No one knows why mine started so early but it did. I now have it in my hands, wrists, feet, ankles, knees, ribs, elbows, shoulders, and collarbones. The winter has become a sadistic landscape of pain and inflammation. Yet as someone with this chronic illness the perception is that I will be fine with a pain pill.

Pain pills… There is a thing. I take a synthetic narcotic. It is high but it does the job but even at the maximum dose it never drops below a 2. I live with pain. That is a huge problem. Not only that it hurts but because it is ongoing, it never stops. I stitch as pain relief. I create art as pain relief. I can’t write as pain relief. I’m not sure how it works. The repetitive nature of the sewing creates a soothing trance. The art also adds to this effect. For a while I can be pain free.

With the writing I have to push back the pain to get the right head space. What this means for the writing long-term I don’t know. For the minute the shorter versions, like this blog are fine. Although today is a bad day so I am pushing back the ouch. Later I will stitch and forget it was ever there.

It is so strange how the brain works and how you can trick it. I am trying to find ways to. In the meantime I know that my body will make new spurs and abrasions you can’t see. You can only feel. The good news though is that I am creating some beautiful art…