Black Cats and Lucky Socks

Are you superstitious?

Once I was very. Once I wouldn’t step on a crack or cross a black cat or walk under a ladder. Once I would have worn lucky socks and shirt and shoes.

But it wasn’t superstition. Can’t remember why I had a dislike of black cats as a kid. I think it may have been because I was too friendly to a neighbours and ended up with a scratch… I do know that I was a little apprehensive of the tiny cat that one day walked into the house. I know they say you mustn’t feed cats but this mangy brown moggy adopted us. First thing we had to do was cut the collar off, it was so tight that the cat couldn’t breath. It left a wound which was looked at and the vet said she may have been dragged as she had sores on her back feet and no claws. Then he said she was black.

“Black?” I asked, looking at her brown fur.

True enough as she got better and learnt to eat, her fur turned the darkest of black. Even her tongue was black.

This cat couldn’t eat – instead she would dip her paw into a can or bowl in order to eat. At the time it was on an advert. It didn’t take long for us to show her she had no need to use her paw. I think the fact she was so hungry and we had chicken was a major factor. That cat would do anything for chicken. Once even stealing a chicken leg from my dining plate.

It was her that finally stopped me being scared of black cats.

And the rest of my superstitions turned out to be autism, the want to wear the same clothes because you are comfy in them… Well, that I do even now. I was wearing a jumper the other day and I realised that my memories on social media from three years ago had me wearing the same outfit. Yeah – I tend to stick to the same clothes. I guess you could still call them lucky, but actually they are just familiar.

The cracks in a pavement? Well, I hate all patterns. The trend at the moment is to put a type of pattern on city walkways. They are horrendous. I can get sick and dizzy walking over patterns. One particular crossing near us I have to close my eyes and my husband will guide me over. I just can’t look at it, let alone willingly walk there. Our tiles in the kitchen have been picked with care so that there is no pattern and no grouting lines. The bathroom created using panels. The patterns I wear are chaotic or based on nature. This part of my autism has affected R and my life completely. I tend to avoid the cracks now, or close my eyes.

As for walking under ladders… I am just scared of getting hit on the head. Especially with a paint can or light fixture. It is just a bad idea to do it.

Am I superstitious? No, not anymore.