What is one question you hate to be asked? Explain.
How are you?
How’s you pain level?
How are you feeling?
These are the questions I dread from those I don’t know because my autistic brain wants to answer them properly. I have only just recently learnt that you are meant to say that you are fine, or good, or coping, or some other vague statement. Those who know me want a more detailed response but sometimes they don’t. It is a minefield and in the past I have been branded a hypochondriac for explaining too much. I do know a lot about what is wrong with me but that is normal because the autism has to know about it all, so nothing surprises me.
When I get asked how I am I have to gauge if they want to know or are being friendly and it is just part of their greeting. Do I answer with an, ‘I am fine’, or an in depth look into my pain level caused by my osteoarthritis? How do you tell?
Also, I have found that if the person asking is in a medical profession they really don’t want to know what is wrong with you. They are always being vague.
I just don’t know how to answer. In the end I have started to only tell close friends. If anything this change of tack has made some look at me funny and I have been wondering if they feel like I am slighting them somehow. I feel I want to say – no, I’m just trying to figure out how to do this social interaction.
I don’t want to be one of those people who are known for only talking about their illness but it is an easy subject for me. I know about it, and in most cases I know more than the GP. I have hyper focused and learnt everything there is to know about the diseases. I’ve looked at my own x-rays and scans and I know what I look like on the inside. I can share all this, and will do with glee, because I know it. It never gets boring because everyday I get hit with a different set of symptoms. Like last night I ended up awake from restless leg syndrome. Now, I don’t get it often so I think it is probably linked to my iron deficiency that is pretty much awful at the moment. But it is interesting to work out what is up.
I have a lot wrong with me. As well as the autism, dyspraxia and dyslexia I have mobility issues due to osteoarthritis and asthma and a load of others that are really annoying. Still, does anyone want to know? When people ask how are you, are they asking how are you feeling after the last fall, or just saying hi.
So, yes, I hate the question. I really don’t want to be the boring one or to give over too much information and I am just terrible at judging what people want to hear.
How am I?
Fine, I’m fine. How are you?
Kate Murray - Cleaver 
Generally Kate I asked them how much do they want to know given a bit then ask part from that I’m okay and if they want to know more they ask. It is such a pain because most the time people don’t want to know if you say, I feel terrible, it’s probably alright sometimes on the other hand, if you say not to God and they say, but you look great it’s really really annoying when you don’t say that I spent ages putting on make up this morning! So in the end I’m pretty noncommittal and ask them before launching into anything
Definitely sounds like a plan… X
You’re the third person I’ve read who dislikes this question… Interesting.
I used to get RLS all the time too, and I’m gonna suggest something that sounds odd. Put a bar of soap in your bed. I dunno if they sell Ivory soap over there, but anything that’s not beauty soap — it has to be pure soap — will do. Just try it. If it doesn’t work, you’ve only lost the price of a bar of soap. I’ve been doing this for about eight years now, and my RLS, and leg cramps have disappeared. They only come back when the soap has dried out, then I get a new bar, and they’re gone again. Someone suggested this to me, and I was all, “That’s not gonna work.” But it did. Like I said, if it doesn’t, you’re only out the price of a bar of soap.
I’ll give that a go. I wonder if it will work with pears soap?
I’ve never heard of that brand, but if it’s not a beauty bar, it should work..,
Should be good then. Thanks for the tip.
I used to hate being asked what do you DO?