Job…

Do you enjoy your job?

In what sense? I think asking if you enjoy your job is sectioning off part of your life that maybe you don’t need to. Is my job as a cook, cleaner, housekeeper, stock taker, meal planner, present buyer, clothes buyer, fish carer, gardener, writer, artist or support, both mentally and physically, to my husband? Which is my job?

You may suggest that it is whatever brings in money.

So we are talking gardener, writer and artist.

As a gardener I love planning and planting. I really adore making something from nothing and I have worked in the past as a gardener either in big companies. But I can’t do the social interaction. The time that I have to spend in others company – always masking, always being nice. I burn out and have to leave. My last gardening job was in a large nursery. I ended up working in sales because I can name so many plants.

Need something? Tell me about your garden and I’ll tell you what you need.

I was good.

I lasted three months before I burnt out and was signed off with exhaustion.

With the writing and art I do the opposite. I isolate myself and I create. I hyper focus and there is no masking. No one cares if I look sad or am not smiling. I am me.

BUT… I can’t self promote. I am terrible at it. I hate the whole social media and posing as I make art. It makes me cringe. So, I draw and I write and no one knows. I do this blog but I rarely mention the books I have for sale and lately I have been having an issue publishing those I have completed. It is almost as if the simple act of publishing is a step too far for the self promotion.

I have an idea to bring out a series of notebooks and journals with my art on the front but that would mean I’d have to self promote…

Do I love my job?

Oh yes, but I hate the self promotion that goes with it. And the gardening I now only do for R and I’s enjoyment.