It is so much easier to look after other people. I was having a wobble about the PhD and voiced that I was thinking about taking the MPhil just to get is done.
“I need it gone,” I said.
“What advise would you give if someone had the same problem?” K asked.
I grumped for a minute.
“To finish and try hard to get the PhD,” I said.
“There you go,” said K. At his point R was holding both thumbs up and nodding.
That got me thinking – why would I suggest one thing to someone I care about but not to myself? The answer was pretty simple. It is easier to look after someone else than yourself. To look after and do your best, you need to think you are worth something. Now both K and R would argue I am worth a lot, but I have to believe it. Lately, with everything that has been occurring with the PhD I am only able to focus on the bad.
Am I good enough? What do I think about me?
Two questions I can’t answer because it is just too difficult. It is much easier to look after others than myself.
Don’t worry – I will finish the PhD. I just need to find the motivation. It is so strange how quickly I am able to accept that I am somehow less, and yet I can’t take a compliment.
What do I think of myself?
Kate Murray - Cleaver 
Kate you are enormously talented. It is also really common for PhD students to be given time to revise following the viva. Almost no-one gets it straight off. That’s because, like any kind of high-level writing, you need feedback from other people working in your field to hone your argument and it proves. I have always read and commented on drafts of articles, papers and books, offering suggestions. A PhD is not like a test – having to do revisions is not a mark of failure. It’s normal. Don’t beat yourself up about it! ________________________________
Thank you. I’ll give it my best shot. 😁