Irrational Fear

The other day I went to the Firefly launch (Firefly is a Welsh publisher of children’s books). There were a load of good readings and I got chatting after. One of the editors asked me…

“Do you illustrate your own books?”

“No,” I said, but what got me was that I was filled with fear. To illustrate my own books – a very scary thought.

“What are you working on?”

I described the next book.

“Sounds good. Do you think your illustrations will work?”

Now I was filled with an irrational fear.

“No. I think I need a darker illustration…”

But why? I mean I’ve just finished illustrating my adult short story anthology so why can’t I do a child’s book? I mean the picture book is planned but not created, the chapter book is planned but not illustrated, the 7+ book is written but not illustrated…. Why can’t I do them?

Is it because I can’t draw for children?

I have no confidence when it comes to kid’s illustrations. But my little nephew will come up to me and ask me to draw something for him to colour, and I do. Without a thought. So what is different?

Anyway I have decided to take the bull by the horns and try. Today I will be creating one of the illustrations I had in my head when I wrote the 7+ book. Wish me luck and I’ll show and tell later. Now, if I can just stop shaking.

How can I be so brave with the writing and such a chicken when it comes to the drawing?


2 thoughts on “Irrational Fear

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