Dyslexic tales · Masters tales


Wednesday 14th November 2012
It was an odd day and I felt slightly off kilter. I’d planned on working on toys for the morning but, due to a computer glitch, ended up gazing at a screen till it was time to rush off to my lecture. So by the time I got there I was nurturing the beginning of a migraine and feeling fairly sorry for myself… So sorry in fact that I went into the coffee shop and bought a massive hot chocolate and some ginger cookies. On the pretense, of course, that chocolate is good for the soul (unfortunately not for my ample frame) and that ginger is a painkiller. I must admit my migraine-to-be was gone an hour later, but that could have been the painkillers I’d taken and not the calorie overload. Mmmmm – whipped cream!

Anyway I’d written this story, and it was turning into some HUGE undertaking so I decided to just read out a bit – like half the first chapter and apart from my use of -ing words (there were a lot) everyone liked it… BUT not as a story but as a movie script! What! I’ve never even written a screenplay so how the hell had I managed to write a script? No idea but I left it a day and looked over it – and they were right it is a movie script. So I’m reading up on them and working on my little disaster movie.

The afternoon session, oddly, was about theatre writing and I thought I’d take you through the exercise I did because it actually produced some great speeches. Okay so what you want to produce at the end is a speech that is central to the play, which for us was about revenge… any type of revenge.

So first write down eleven things (this is my list):

stone, dragon, cloth, egg, jasper, water, mud, car, t-shirt, cat, book

Then six colours:

red, yellow, heliotrope (thought I was being clever with this one!), green, brown, scarlet

And lastly five feelings:

pain, fear, love, happiness, loneliness

And put all the words into alphabetical order (this actually took me a while as I don’t know it except via the song – it got sung a lot in that lecture… I’d like to say that I only sung it in my head… but…)

book, brown, car, cat, cloth, dragon, egg. fear, green, happiness, heliotrope, jasper, loneliness, love, mud, pain, red, scarlet, stone, t-shirt, water, yellow.

Now write a speech on revenge using these words IN ORDER!

By now I’m regretting heliotrope!

So this is what I came up with – remember to read it out as it is meant to be a script.

I suppose I ought not to have been surprised, really. I shouldn’t, after all you practically wrote me a story, hell it could have been a book, and no doubt it would have been a brown leather-bound one with gold inlay. I understand that when you got in the car you never saw the cat, but really! I mean. You just happened to be looking between the seats for that cloth dragon. I never really understood why you bought Bill that god awful toy with it’s little egg cushion. I know that you were afraid of the screaming for the whole of the journey as your son turned mottled green from lack of oxygen. You just wanted a happy trip, all pinks, purples, and even sodding heliotrope… Except that you caught sight of that bracelet you’d lost, the one with the jasper centre and I know it was given by him, and yes you miss him and sometimes the loneliness is just too overwhelming, but still at least you’ve been loved.

Tried to get it, didn’t you, as it nestled under the seat and all you achieved was mud on your hand. Did your foot slip? Did you even feel the pain you caused? A child’s toy and a bracelet, they ought to have been dipped in red and scarlet because that’s what you did. And then to just get out of the car and kick it aside, is your heart made of stone? The only stain you got that day was when you cleaned your hand on your t-shirt. Well your soul is tainted! I see that no water can cleanse you, you are nothing more than a yellow coward without the decency to let me know. Two weeks later you tell me, two weeks of searching, two weeks lost. Yes, I would say you owe me…

2 thoughts on “Theatre…

  1. I think this is a powerfull weblog with much interesting posts about this stuff. And i just wanna say thanks for this. I’ll subscribe to your blog to see if you post more stuff like these!

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