One Night
1st June
Went out and bought a dress. I really hope William will be there. Not that I see him as a William, more as a Bill. It’s like the antithesis, such a small name for such a big man. He’s so rough and earthy, like an old country song; the one sung by Dolly Parton – And he was the biggest man I’d ever seen.
I saw him watching me today and my stomach did a small flip. The kind that makes your breath catch, I must have gawped like a fish ‘cos he smiled and looked at his mate as if to say ‘look at her – daft!’. I can’t help it though, he’s just so dreamy, and I just wish I wouldn’t make such a fool of myself. I hope he’s going the ball.
My dress is great and just clingy enough to show the curves without any unwanted bumps and lumps. I really don’t want to look like the girl last Saturday night. Her hair backcombed and a tight leopard print dress, so tight she looked like a sausage in a too tight skin. Agh! She looked awful!
3rd June
Everything is winding down and the uni is starting to empty. My last lecture was today, although I’ve already sat al the exams – think it was just for the lecturers to say bye. It was kind of sad.
Some students are leaving before the ball and I won’t see them – ever again! That is so strange.
Bill was there in jeans and t-shirt. How does he make that look good? Paul was hanging around in almost the same gear and yet my heart only sped up when Bill spoke to me. Got completely tongue tied again. Still at least by staying on for the postgrad course I get to see him again. Although I’m not sure I have the guts to do anything – after all I’ve been watching him for the last two years… what’s an extra one going to do?
6th June
Oh my god! Everything is falling apart. Overheard Bill telling Paul he’s thinking about studying at a uni closer to his folks – something about his mum being ill. I think it’s really sweet but I feel like my life is falling apart! I just can’t believe it… If he does go then the ball will be the last time I see him. Why is life so unfair?
PM
Okay – did I say my life was bad this morning? Well really I should have waited till now! I got called into the department and it turns out that I should have studied a bit harder and partied less ‘cos I’m only going to get a 2:2. ‘The numbers just don’t add up,’ is what one lecturer said. Only problem is that this isn’t enough so they want me to stay on over the summer and work (for free) to get some experience! And they’re only willing to give me the place ‘cos someone ‘dropped out’. And guess who that was? Bill, my Bill! So now I’m going to be here and he won’t!!!!!
MUCH LATER
I asked Paul at the bar and it turns out that Surrey has offered Bill an unconditional place. Life is so unfair…
7th June
I feel like I’m falling into a black hole or some alternate universe. Bill just BLANKED me. Totally! Him and Paul walked past arguing about something and neither of them smiled or gestured or anything! I’m so depressed. Not even sure I’ll be going to the ball.
LATER
Okay I caught up with Paul and he said he didn’t see me. Phew! It means that Bill didn’t either.
3 AM IN THE MORNING!
A phone call at three in the morning! Was I pissed! Except it was Bill and he wants to pick me up tomorrow for the ball… So excited!!!
8th June
Crap! Bill can’t pick me up so am off to Sophie’s for a girls’ get together. This way maybe Tash will do my hair. She does an amazing French roll.
9th June
Where do I start? It was amazing! First the hall – I mean wow! I can’t believe that I actually sit my exams there, I mean it was magical. There were sparkles and lights and it was just right. It wasn’t too bright but not too dark. It was just dreamy.
And talking about dreamy, Bill met me outside and he was just fantastic in a dark blue suit and white shirt with no collar. Man he made my knees weak. Paul wasn’t bad looking either, couldn’t believe it though, he hooked up with Sophie. Wasn’t sure about that but this morning he met me for coffee as usual and we swapped stories.
Anyway last night. The music was great and Bill told me I looked fantastic in my dress. Its iridescent fabric worked and every time I moved a new colour shimmied across my body, like sun on calm water. We made a really good looking couple and he was so attractive.
Tash wasn’t impressed with Bill but then what did she know, I mean she turned up with this young gangly freshman. I’m shuddering just thinking about it, the spots, ugh! So it was the end of the ball and about 3am and the last slow dance came on. Bill was holding me so close, it was so romantic. Then he whispers in my ear, ‘want to get out of here?’ My heart was in my mouth and all I could hear was its thump, thump. It even drowned out the music. Although I’d been expecting it I just froze, I mean I was still dancing but inside all I could think was, ‘oh my god’, over and over. It was lame but I just nodded and tried to unstuck my tongue from the roof of my mouth. Immediately he steers me to the exit and calls a taxi. Now my digs are only a minute away and his are closer, on campus, but he just calmly pulls me into the taxi that had miraculously appeared and starts kissing me. Man he is a good kisser.
He’d booked a hotel, a suite no less. I’d heard about suites but never had the money to stay in one. I’m more of a hostel girl. So this room has a lounge, a bedroom and a full sized Jacuzzi. Heaven! He took me places… Well let’s just say I have experienced a multiple orgasm and haven’t just read about them. Amazing! Although I wanted to play in the Jacuzzi and he was a little too conservative for those tastes. Which is one of the reasons why next morning when he asked for my number I didn’t give him my real one. I mean he was nice and all but I want someone more adventurous and maybe a little younger. He wasn’t Mr Right, just Mr Almost-there. Anyway he is off to Surrey, in fact looking at the clock he’s probably left already. Long distance relationships never work, I see him more as a one-nighter. You never know what may happen next year, after all there will be a whole new set of people. I gotta go now though, I’m meeting Paul for dinner, seems he needs a heart to heart about Sophie, I don’t think they get along too well.
Kate Murray - Cleaver 